My dream ring :)

Center stone: Alexandrite...a gem of many colors.
You can see that there are now six white gold prongs that set the stone instead of four. It sticks out about 3/4 of an inch from my skin..I've had some difficulty getting used to the new height. Jonathan is pretty scratched up and our walls seem more enclosing than ever.

Yesterday we went inside the bank to make a deposit and as we were leaving the teller grabbed my hand and said, "Wait just a second! You're not going anywhere until I get a closer look at your ring..."
It has become an customary (and very much predictable) occurence.

I love you Mom!

heartspot

This is old. really old. But I figured I'd put something on here, and I haven't felt poetic enough to write something new.




my heart is not in this room.
the others- their eyes glaze over with some milky film,
their hands speak with curious tongues that I do not hear
and voices spew out like fireworks pricking July…
but my heart is in June.

good man- have you not known all along that
my heart is not in this town?
every corner on Main reeks of hopes long dissolved
and cracked windows reflect stains of spirits there-
lost yet praying for found.

I let myself sink into the hills and softest streaks
of gaping fields folding in the purple mountains’ wake-
they cover me with whipping willow shoots,
lather my skin with sweet, brown dirt-
strip me clean of city steam.

my heart is livid in my lover’s eyes.
those eyes that adored me.
or was that before I cracked over his boyish wit?
was it he that stymied this organ with thickened blood
or…did I crave the taste of metal in the first place?

I sense a beating from the closet.
ba bump, ba bump, ba bump it lies there in the closet
I go towards the doors while the walls close in
and there lies my heart in the closet’s dusty floors
like a child’s lonely toy…

dear fellow in the street,
or preacher or friend-

my heart is not mine to enjoy.

Our Crib :)

I made this!
Here you go, Mom and Dad. This is Jonathan's and my first living quarters :) Some of them are very random, but I wanted you to get the full effect...haha.
The calendar we made of us :)
Bountiful temple picture frame above the table
Dana drew these for us around Christmas time. I think they're fabulous. And above is the misprinted article for Parma, announcing our wedding date.
The table, salt & pepper, and bronze basket with a half-rotten banana :)
Our little shrine...
This is Ramone- our pet alligator. He resides on the couch and occasionally in the windowsill.
Our orchid HenryJolly.
Our biggest wedding picture framed in the apartment.
The blanket Mom made us sitting on the TV (used for movie watching and cuddling time!) and a cute sign I picked up at the bookstore here: "Happily Ever After"
Our vertical hanging frame.
Knife set, piggy cutter, and yummy-smelling Yankee candle.
Our 3 jars of jollyranchers, chocolate, and spiced peaches :)
Spice rack, cooking canisters, and utensil can. (I know! It's so exciting! lol)
The view from our bedroom door.
If you turned around from the last picture, this is what you would see.....ahem...our bedroom :)
The stylish bathroom!






Our troublesome couch, lantern lamp, and fun curtains.
I thought I'd throw this one in, it's me and Ryleigh! She's grown up so much!

light and dark

"beautiful words"
"lovey imagery"
they said.

my audience was deceived, most surely-
where went the darkness i struggled so hard against to paint?
truly they had not stepped into my shadow.

well, i can't blame them. not really.

and now i hesitate my brush's bloodied streak...for light overcomes.
beautiful words, indeed.
lovely words.

he

i sputtered to a stop the day we met.

and my poems were nothing from that day on...there was no grief to record. no laments, no regrets.

it is simply too hard to say how much his soul blends with mine
how lovely his voice sounds in my beating flesh
how perfectly our bodies shape into one another
how much Life has bloomed and burst through those old deaths

he is my own.
to love and to cherish, forever.
and that means FOREVER- no end- through time and time..
i cry and feel so small to think of it without him.

we spend days in bed, touching his hands touching my hair and that makes me
melt like warm snow right onto the sheets
we spend hours talking of our pasts and dreams and bad habits and annoyances and cravings
we spend moments picking out the colors in our two pairs of blue eyes
finding every color of light but blue
and his sweet lips kiss the bones on my neck and i feel like dancing on the surface of the dust that swirls around our window
there is no air left
i cannot let it enter into my throat
the oxygen doesn't get past the door
because he takes it all away just by his silent vision, there asleep on the pillow
head turned towards me, fingers entwined in mine...
3 am and i cannot let myself sleep with this angel next to me

so i dream with eyes wide open.